Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Top 10 Reasons Clowney was “Tired” Against UNC

Much has been made of Jadeveon Clowney's conditioning, or lack thereof, during USC's opening night win over UNC. He appeared to be frequently winded and taking plays off. But the real question is why did he look so tired?

To be honest, we don't know. But we can guess. So, here are our Top 10 reasons why Clowney was tired against UNC:

  1. He ate all the Alpha-Bits cereal looking for this guy's missing "A". He never found it...
  1. He was intimidated with David Pollack, a high motor guy, announcing the game
  1. He spent the night before the game at the UNC hotel trying to convince one of the lineman to leave him unblocked
  1. He mistakenly followed Alshon Jeffrey's offseason workout program
  1. He spends every practice with Cocky, trying to figure out how Cocky does his entrance trick
  1. During wind sprints, Spurrier always stands shirtless at the finish line
  1. He sneaks out at night to pretend he's running down the hill
  1. He’s been staying up too late watching replays of his hit against Michigan
  1. He’s been moonlighting at birthday parties as the “Knock Stuff Over Guy”, where he comes to your party and randomly knocks stuff over, just to impress you
  1. He was saving his energy for his sack dance, which he never got to use

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